“We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does anyone life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'." – quote from Shall We Dance.

P and I purchased tickets to one of our favorite bands about two months ago – Arcade Fire. Well the concert was last night. P took me out to dinner then we went to the show. I was so excited, not because going to see bands play is a really big deal to me, more because P was so thrilled about going. The line was horribly long, but we got in (the show was at the Rhyman). On the way through the doors P noticed a sign that said there were a lot of strobe lights being used. Considering P has a tendency for seizure when in the presence of strobes, he went and found the floor manager to find out exactly how much strobe was being used. I got in line, or should I say cut in line, to get us a band tee-shirt and some buttons (P has a thing for band shirts) and he went to find out about the lights. Well, come to find out the entire show consisted of strobes and sometimes they would be very strong. We paid $105 for those tickets! P was so excited about going! It was such a disappointment that we were not going to be able to watch the band perform. We got our money back and left.

At dinner I had a 1 ½ glasses of wine. When we got to the Rhyman, P bought me a gigantic beer ($9 – got a hotel they have to build back – bastards) and we were not going to be able to drink it! I chugged that baby, so by the time we left I was feeling pretty good. We walked toward the parking garage on Commerce and I noticed the elevators going up and down in the Renaissance hotel. I looked at P and suggested that we go ride the elevators! For the next hour or so we rode the elevators up to the 23rd floor and back several times. We toured all of the floors of that hotel and pretended to be tourists. P even bought me a shot glass.

He was so disappointed about the show, but we found a way to enjoy each other anyway. After five years I can still find new and fun things to do with him and we can have a great time. We turned a bummer time into something fun and risk-k. I tried to get him to do something naughty in one of the cubby’s in the hallway – that was until he pointed out the cameras… getting arrested in NOT on my to-do list. He came out of his mood, and even though it was not what we had planned on doing, it was fun. It was because we were together.

I pray it will always be this way. I wonder what happens in a relationship that causes people to go from enjoying and having fun with one another to just existing together? I hope it never happens to us. What can we do to prevent this from happening? How do you keep the “fun” alive after 20 years?

I love you, Phillip Rose.